Rita Blue

[Sirens]

HELEN; Time for school!

HELEN; Stop daydreaming, You'll be late for school,

Sometimes l have dreams

MIA: Hey, Louie. Come on.

l picture myself flyin'

It's time to go to schooI.

Through the clouds

High in the sky

Conquering the World

With my magic piano

Never being scared

But then l realize

l'm Supergirl

And l'm here to save the World

But l Wanna knoW

Who's gonna save me?

HELEN; Are you feeling confident?

MIA: Not reaIIy.

Now just remember, when you make your speech...

don't Iook at the peopIe.

Pick a spot on the back waII...

don't take your eyes off of it...

and speak IoudIy.

Thanks, Mom.

Bye, Mom.

Good Iuck.

Ooh ooh

Ooh

Morning, Buttons.

[Barking]

MAN; Be nice, Buttons,

MIA: Whoa. Whoa!

Sorry, Mr, Robutusen,

Have a nice day.

ROBUTUSEN: I doubt it.

Whoo!

l'm Supergirl

[Sirens]

l'm Supergirl

What l Wanna knoW

Who's gonna save me?

CHEERLEADERS; Hey, there, ho there

HoW do you do?

This is Grove Lions sayin' hi to you,

-I'm Lana... -Anna...

Fontana.

CHEERLEADERS; Go Lions!

BO Y: Josh!

l'm Supergirl

-Josh! -What are you doing?

Oh, he's such a show-off.

Jeremiah, off the waII, pIease.

Come on, You knoW better than that,

MIA: Good morning, Miss Gupta.

Morning, LiIIy...

LiIIy's friend.

l'm Supergirl

Who's gonna save me?

You know, as manager of the team...

I reaIIy think you shouId be a part of the team.

Oh, oh! Oops.

I'm sorry, I didn't see you.

I was thinking...

Somebody sat on me again.

-ReaIIy? -Yeah.

MlA; l don't knoW What happened,

l Was just sitting there, Working on my speech,,,

It's reaIIy a dumb cIass--

LILLY: Jerk and jerkette sighting.

MIA: Hmm?

Soft kisses on a summer's day

Laughing all our cares aWay

And dream of--

-What? -What?

You never saw two idiots exchange saIiva before?

Oh. Yeah.

They're so rude,

Good. You know, for a second there...

I thought you were going A-crowd on me.

MlA; Oh, heh, Negative,

LlLLY; Ready for debate?

MlA; l'm never ready for debate,

[Cheering] BO Y; Go, Josh!

JOSH; So this is not a debate,

This is a control issue,

Grove controIs our minds with what they teach us...

but you know what?

They're not satisfied with that.

I think Grove shouId dump the uniforms...

and we have casuaI dress aII year round!

[Cheering]

MR, O'CONNELL; All right, all right,

OK, girIs, settIe down. SettIe down.

This is a debate, and after it's over...

I want you back in your schooI uniform.

JOSH: Hey, boss, whatever you say.

Josh, sit down.

-He's the man. -He's my man.

O'CONNELL; OK, Josh, Later, OK?

Down, down, boy. You made your point.

OK, so, noW We've all heard,,,

from Josh Bryant for the affirmative.

[VeIcro rips]

I Iove that sound.

What's my point again?

You Iike our uniforms. They're equaIizers.

O'CONNELL; NoW We'll hear the rebuttal,,,

from Mia Thermopolis,,,

Who Will present the negative argument,,,

against our proposition,

[Scattered appIause]

GlRL; Come on, Mia!

BO Y; Whoo-hoo!

Um...I th-think...um...

FONTANA; What a frizz-ball,

ANNA; Look at her hair,

O'CONNELL; Shh!

Um,,,

BO Y; We're Waiting,

SECOND BO Y; Say something!

You see, um...I...

See, casuaI-- casuaI...uh...

[Breathing heaviIy]

GlRL; Are you OK?

ANNA: She's gonna barf.

SECOND GlRL; Oh, God! She's gonna hurl!

THlRD GlRL; Cover the tuba!

O'CONNELL; OK, OK, Everybody settle doWn,

Learn hoW to fly

Gotta move on

From What's breaking your heart,,,

MANAGER; Mia! Finish up With Mrs, Taubman,,,

and then you can take a break,

Another huge tip from Mrs. Hersh.

I got one from Mrs. Taubman. We're doing aII right today.

Mr. WaIsh's ropes are twisted.

VlVlAN; Mr, Walsh, stop twisting!

You'll strangle yourself!

Hi, Mom.

You threw up, huh?

And you ran aWay,

MlA; l'm trying to forget about it,

Can I have some shoes and chaIk, pIease?

Anyway, I'II go taIk to your debate teacher--

-What's his name? -Mr. O'ConneII.

And straighten it aII out.

Mom, I am never going to be a good pubIic speaker.

Just caII him and teII him I want to be a mime.

-I can do that. -Here you go.

Oh, your grandmother caIIed.

What?

The Iive one.

Who Iives in Genovia. CIarisse.

Oh. Wow.

This is the first time she's ever contacted us.

What'd she want?

She's in town.

She wants to have tea.

Tea? She came aII the way from Europe to have tea?

[TeIephone rings]

I think I'm gonna cIimb a IittIe bit.

MANAGER; Rocks Around the Clock

MIA: Isn't this the grandmother who made you get a divorce?

WeII, she didn't approve of me...

but PhiIIipe and I made the decision...

to divorce on our own.

Why shouId I go see this snobby Iady who ignores us?

Mia, she's your father's mother.

Just go see her tomorrow.

-PIease? -Tension.

She said your father hoped...

that you two wouId meet someday.

[Sighs] AII right, I'II go.

[PIaying rock and roII music]

BO Y; Whoo!

AII right, I win.

Band practice is over.

l have a music class here, Out!

Let's have the third group try ''Catch a FaIIing.''

CharIes, you want to be in the front?

-Thanks. -No probIem.

MichaeI.

Are you sure you can't heIp me...

with my Spotted OwI petition today?

I'm meeting my grandmother after schooI.

[Piano pIaying] Oh, right.

Catch a falling star

And put it in your pocket

Never let it fade aWay

Catch a falling star

And put it in your pocket

Save it for a rainy day

For love may come and

Tap you on the shoulder

Some starless night

SPEAKER; School tours are on Saturday, young lady,

I'm here for a meeting with my grandmother.

Name?

CIarisse RenaIdi.

Oh. PIease come to the front door.

Thank you very much.

SPEAKER; Get off the grass!

[Message repeated in other Ianguages]

WeIcome, Miss ThermopoIis.

We've been expecting you.

MIA: Oh, be carefuI.

PIease don't crush my soy nuts.

Your soy nuts are safe.

OK.

Right this way.

PIease, make yourseIf comfortabIe.

WOMAN; ,,,for their daughter Marissa,

She's allergic to peanuts,

And we need new piIIows for the prime minister's wife.

She's aIIergic to goose feathers.

Hello, Amelia,

I'm CharIotte, from the Genovian attache corps.

Hi. It's nice to meet you.

Um, Where am l?

CHARLO TTE; The Genovian Consulate,

MIA: You've got pears in your fIowers.

Genovian pears. We're famous for them.

Now, if you'II sit down...

she'II be with you in a moment.

No, I don't need a moment. I'm here.

AmeIia, I'm so gIad you couId come.

MlA; Hi, You've got a great place,

Thank you.

WeII, Iet me Iook at you.

You Iook so...young.

Thank you.

And you Iook so...

cIean.

CharIotte, wouId you check on tea in the garden?

Please, sit,

So, my mom said you wanted...

to taIk to me about something. Shoot.

Oh, before I ''shoot''...

I have something I want to give you.

Here.

Oh, um, thank you.

Wow.

CLARlSSE; lt's the Genovian crest,

It was mine when I was young.

And that was my great-grandmother's.

Heh. I'II keep this safe.

I wiII take good care of it.

Now, what did you want to teII me?

CLARlSSE; Something that l think Will have,,,

a very big impact upon your Iife.

I aIready had braces.

No, it's bigger than orthodontia.

The tea is served, ma'am.

AmeIia, have you ever heard...

of Eduard Christoff PhiIIipe Gerard RenaIdi?

No.

He was the crown prince of Genovia.

Hmm.

What about him?

Eduard Christoff PhiIIipe Gerard RenaIdi...

was your father.

[Snorts] Yeah, sure.

My father was the prince of Genovia.

Uh-huh. You're joking.

Why wouId I joke about something Iike that?

No! Because if he's reaIIy a prince, then I--

ExactIy.

You're not just AmeIia ThermopoIis.

You are AmeIia Mignonette ThermopoIis RenaIdi...

Princess of Genovia.

Me? A princess?

Shut up!

I beg your pardon? Shut up?

Your Majesty, in America...

it doesn't aIways mean ''Be quiet.''

Here it couId mean, ''Wow,'' ''Gee whiz,'' ''GoIIy''--

Oh, I understand. Thank you.

NevertheIess, you are the princess.

And I am Queen CIarisse RenaIdi.

Why wouId you pick me to be your princess?

Since your father died, you are the naturaI heir...

to the throne of Genovia. That's our Iaw.

I'm royaI by marriage.

You are royaI by bIood.

You can ruIe.

RuIe? Oh, no.

Oh, no. No, no, no.

Now you have reaIIy got the wrong girI.

I never Iead anybody--

not at Brownies, not at Camp Fire GirIs--

Queen CIarisse, my expectation in Iife...

is to be invisibIe, and I'm good at it.

AmeIia, I had other expectations aIso.

In my wiIdest dreams...

I never expected this to happen.

But you are the IegaI heir--

the onIy heir-- to the Genovian throne...

and We Will accept the challenge,,,

of heIping you become the princess that you are.

Oh, I can give you books.

You wiII study Ianguages, history, art, poIiticaI science.

I can teach you to waIk, taIk, sit, stand...

eat, dress Iike a princess.

And, given time, I think you'II find...

the paIace in Genovia a very pIeasant pIace to Iive.

-Live in Genovia? -It's a wonderfuI country.

Whoa, whoa. Just--

Rewind and freeze.

l'm no princess,

I'm stiII waiting for normaI body parts to arrive.

I refuse to move to and ruIe a country...

and--Do you want another reason?

I don't want to be a princess!

Oh, AmeIia...AmeIia!

Amelia, come back here!

CLARlSSE; Ohh!

[Sighs]

WeII, that went weII, didn't it?

-Perhaps she needs more time. -WiII you heIp me?

Miss ThermopoIis?

I'm the head of your security...

and you want me to be a chauffeur and baby-sitter.

For the time being. The chiId needs protection.

MlA; For 1 5 years,,,

you couldn't find a spare minute,,,

to teII me that my father is a royaI?

I thought I was doing the right thing.

The right thing for who, Mom?

For aII of us.

l mean, if We secretly divorced,,,

he Would be able to find a Woman,,,

who wouId stay by his side and produce heirs...

and I wouId be free to Iive my Iife with you.

I mean, pIease! We met in coIIege!

I was young! I wanted to paint.

Can you see me waIking one step behind someone...

for the rest of my Iife?

With ruIes and reguIations...

and the waving and the bowing and the scraping?

I was scared!

MIA: Living with a mother...

who Iied to me for 1 5 years scares me.

Where are you going?

To straighten up the royaI bedchamber.

HELEN; After the divorce, We all discussed it,

Your father and your grandmother,,,

both agreed to keep that distance,,,

so you Would have a chance of a normal childhood,,,

free of emotionaI compIications.

We were going to teII you when you were 1 8 years oId...

but When your father died, things changed, Mia,

We wanted to protect you.

You know what?

I don't feeI protected.

You try Iiving for 1 5 years...

thinking that you're one person...

and then in five minutes you find out...

that you're a princess.

Just in case...

I'm not enough of a freak aIready...

Iet's add a tiara!

[Sighs]

WeII, drink your soup.

I'm not reaIIy hungry.

Fine.

Good night, sweetheart.

Fat Louie...

[Purring]

You are so Iucky...

you don't know who your parents are.

[Meow]

I've never ridden in a Iimo...

he admitted bitterIy to himseIf...

as he crossed to the open window...

and Iooked out at the bay, the fog Iooming...

Iike his pathetic Iife before him.

I can't beIieve I won an Emmy.

I have this favorite photo of PhiIIipe.

We had so much fun When We Were in college,

He Was so full of joie de vivre,,,

alWays laughing and smiling,

CLARISSE: I remember.

HeIen, if AmeIia refuses to accept the throne...

then Genovia wiII cease to exist as we know it.

So the future of your country...

is in the hands of my 1 5-year-oId?

Here it is.

Oh.

CLARlSSE; Phillipe Was ready to be king,

Then the terribIe accident.

Even though it didn't work out between us...

I Ioved your son very much.

Thank you.

WeII, as aIways...

this is as good as it's gonna get.

Hmm.

I can't wait untiI she's 1 8.

[Mia sighs]

Oh, this is a nightmare.

I'm going back to bed.

Mia, the three of us have to taIk.

Oh, OK. Is there something eIse...

about me and my Iife I might want to know about?

Are you two waiting to take me on a taIk show...

to teII me I have a twin sister who's a duchess?

You have a cousin who's a contessa.

Fondly knoWn as BartholomeW,

Actually, We call him Pookie,

Yesterday did not go weII.

WiII you just Iisten to your grandmother?

AmeIia, in a matter of weeks...

we have an annuaI baII.

I was--I am hoping that I may present you...

to the press and the pubIic on that occasion.

HoWever, you desperately need some instruction,

I speak for the entire Genovian parIiament...

and the royaI famiIy.

And I speak for this famiIy.

Excuse me...

I don't have a famiIy with either one of you...

because you ignored me for 1 5 years...

and you Iied to me.

FamiIies don't do stuff Iike that, OK?

[Footsteps going upstairs]

Where is she going?

The tower.

Mia, you can't run from everything!

She has a tower?

HELEN; Please? Just come doWn from there,

MIA: Most kids hope for a car...

for their 1 6th birthday, not a country!

Just make yourseIf comfortabIe.

[Fat Louie hisses]

HELEN; This is getting us noWhere!

Talk to me,

I can't taIk to you right now.

I'm Iate for a meeting with my guidance counseIor.

I'm Iate for a meeting with Spain and PortugaI.

HELEN; l have a thought,

Mia promises to attend princess Iessons...

untiI your baII.

WeII, it's not my baII.

It's Genovia's annuaI Independence Day baII.

I'm sorry.

Mia promises neither to accept nor reject...

your offer to be royaI untiI this grand baII...

and then she makes her decision.

NoW, can you both live With that?

It seems I have no option.

[Sighs] If I have to.

But I want not one word of this untiI that evening.

Is that understood?

Duh.

CLARlSSE; The press Would have a field day,

WeII. Let's not keep Spain and PortugaI waiting.

[Car horn honks]

I'II be 1 6 this year...

and my mom traded two paintings for a 1 966 Mustang.

You do know what a Mustang is, right?

I raise mustangs.

That is not a sensibIe car for a princess.

It isn't sensibIe for anyone. It doesn't run.

I suppose I couId donate something to this vehicIe.

MlA; Good morning, Mr, Robutusen,

CLARlSSE; Who is this gentleman?

MlA; Oh, he's my neighbor,,,

but you wouIdn't want to meet him.

He doesn't have very nice manners.

Good morning.

There's someone I want you to meet.

OK. Whoa.

You have two Iimousines?

One is yours.

You raise Iimousines, too?

No. AmeIia, this is Joseph.

Hi. Nice to meet you.

The eIegant European woman didn't stay for tea...

Thanks.

But the promise of tomorrow hung in the air.

[Car door shuts]

MIA: Ooh!

Uh, Princess?

Princess, may I point out...

that no matter how many times you push it...

it wiII go up and down the same way.

MlA; Joseph, can We eighty-six the flags? Please?

No.

The fIags aIIow me to park anywhere.

We keep the fIags.

Sorry, Joseph.

You can caII me Joe.

Joey?

Heh heh heh heh.

No. Joe.

Did I miss something?

Are we going to a wedding?

Uh, no. SchooI.

No, this is the surprise ride.

[Speaking foreign Ianguage]

MlA; This is Joe,

Joe, LiIIy. LiIIy, Joe.

LILLY: Hi, it's nice to meet you.

You know you Iook Iike Shaft?

Yes. Excuse me.

-You want a ride, right? -Yeah, totaIIy.

Hey, I got it.

Of course.

-OK. -Oh, my word!

JOE; Please fasten your seat belts, ladies,

LlLLY; ls your mother dating an undertaker?

Uh, no.

This Iong-Iost grandmother showed up...

and she wants me to use it.

-And? -I--I don't know.

I guess she's just trying to be nice...

to get me to like her,

LlLLY; Oh,

MlA; Hey, Joe?

Can you please park a block aWay from school?

I don't want to cause a riot with this hearse.

This is a non-riot hearse.

And if it were a hearse...

there wouId be siIence in the back seat.

[GirIs Iaughing]

CHEERLEADERS; Hey there, ho there

HoW do you do?

This is Grove Lions sayin' hi to you.

Go Lions! Rowr!

P,A,; This is a reminder,

Virtual homeWork may not be submitted,,,

for actual credit,

FONTANA: TeII me, Mia.

Is it true about your speech?

Are you reaIIy speaking at the BuIimic Convention?

So you can speak and barf at the same time?

[Vomiting sounds]

[Vomiting sounds]

MS, HARBULA; Good,

Good glove, Michael, Way to go,

I'II Iet this one go, Mia. Try catching.

Are you sure?

It's sIow-pitch. Don't worry about it.

MIA: Oh.

Now get it and throw it back to the pitcher.

-OK. -Come on.

[Crowd gasps]

-I am so sorry. -Mm.

-I'm reaIIy-- -Mm.

-I didn't mean to-- -Mm.

-Can I heIp you? -Ice. Get me ice.

[TroIIey beII dings]

LILLY: I'm on the verge of becoming a nutcase...

and my parents think I need an attitude adjustment.

MIA: Whoa, whoa, whoa!

LILLY: Sorry. Yeah, so my dad wants...

to take me to dinner tonight, just the two of us.

We ran out of things to taIk about when I was 8.

MIA: At Ieast your dad's stiII aIive.

LILLY: Hey.

I thought you'd gotten over that.

It's been two months.

MIA: I know, I know.

But, after aII, he was my dad.

BioIogicaIIy, yes, but you never met the man.

Just a nice card and gift on your birthday for 1 5 years?

Be fair. They were beautifuI presents.

Remember that Faberge merry-go-round he sent me?

That was nice.

And he paid for my schooI tuition.

-I guess so. -LiIIy, I gotta run.

I gotta see your brother about my baby.

LILLY: OK, but Iet's take the Iimo tomorrow.

These hiIIs are kiIIing me.

MIA: You got it.

[Rock music pIaying]

[TeIephone rings]

[Rings]

He fixes cars, he pIays guitar...

and he can sing.

-He is so hot! -He is wicked sweet.

DOC: HeIIo. TaIk Ioud, I got a band rehearsing.

MlCHAEL; You've been listening to the sounds of Flypaper,

We're flying aWay noW,

DOC; All right, stop yelling, They're finished,

Hey, that's-- It's sounding reaIIy good.

You knoW, Ned is really Wailing,

HeIIo, Mia.

Hey, Doc.

So, what's the diagnosis for my baby?

Four hundred doIIars.

[Horn honks]

DOC: Yeah, I know. It costs to be cooI, huh?

MIA: This is not my day.

I'II do some Iabor free.

MlA; Thanks, but l'll talk to my grandma about it,

It'II be great.

I'II see you guys Iater. I gotta be somewhere.

Ooh. ''I'II do some Iabor free.''

Heh. You sweet on her?

She's my sister's best friend!

Yeah, that's the hardest pIace to be.

Between friend and friendIier, huh?

[Laughs]

l'm tryin' to find a Way

l'm tryin' to find a ride,,,

Your Majesty, the dipIomatic pouch has arrived...

and she's here.

CLARISSE: Send her in.

CHARLO TTE; Yes, ma'am,

CHARLO TTE; l need more roses--

red, White, mauve, Mauve!

-Miss AmeIia, weIcome. -Hi.

Straight ahead to your Ieft.

Her Majesty is ready for you in the Iibrary.

CLARlSSE; Charlotte, take notes, Will you?

AmeIia, circIe sIowIy...

so I can evaIuate the work to be done.

AmeIia!

Does your bad posture affect your hearing?

-Turn. -Oh, sorry.

No, no, no. SIowIy, turn.

SloWly, Thank you,

Well, carriage, obviously, Hairstyle,

CompIexion...

Stop!

Eyes...IoveIy...

but hidden beneath bushman eyebrows.

The neck is seemIy.

Ears...

Iike her father.

ReaIIy? They are?

Oh, my! Who has naiIs Iike these?

Everybody.

Tomorrow I wouId Iike to see cIean fingers.

And you wiII wear stockings.

Not tights, not socks.

And I never want to see those shoes again.

When waIking in a crowd...

one is under scrutiny aII the time.

So we don't shIump, Iike this.

We drop the shouIders...

we think taII...

we tuck under and transfer the weight...

from one foot to--

No. Princesses never cross their Iegs in pubIic.

Why don't you just tuck one ankIe behind the other...

and pIace the hands gracefuIIy on the knees.

Aah!

CharIotte, I think it's time for tea.

MlA; Tell me, hoW does my mother--

or, really, any person, for that matter--

go into a parent-teacher conference...

and come out with a date?

Mia, Mr. O'ConneII is not married...

he's not Iiving with anyone...

pIus he's not pierced, tattooed, or hair-pIugged.

Do you reaIize how rare that is south of Market Street?

Did it ever occur to you...

that if you dated one of my teachers...

it wouId give the other kids...

Iicense to mock me for the rest of my Iife?

No, you're right. I didn't, and I'm sorry.

[Sighs]

It's just that Patrick--

Mr. O'ConneII-- is such a nice man.

He's a reaI gentIeman...

and I haven't met one of those in a Iong, Iong time.

OK. It's--it's fine.

I just can't do anything right anymore, can I?

[Meow]

BO YS; Come on! Go for it!

-Come on, get her! -ln your face!

Aah, aah, aah!

HARBULA; Come on, come on!

Just bIock one, Mia!

I can't do this. I'm a girI.

What am I, a duck?

No! I mean... You're an athIetic girI.

I am a synchronized swimming, yoga-doing...

horseback-riding, waII-cIimbing-type girI.

My hand-eye coordination is zero.

AII right, you can go again Iater.

Josh! Get in here.

Yeah, I'm in.

So, I was watching you earIier...

and you're way tense.

You know what I'm saying?

Soft kisses on a summer's day,,,

You gotta think Iike the baII. Be the baII.

You gotta stop it, know what I mean?

-Heh? -Heh.

Bring it on.

-Hey, Joe? -Mm-hmm?

I'm turning the back seat into a dressing room...

so I can change into a proper outfit for madame.

Yes, weII, don't forget your shoes.

Oh, thanks.

Strange town, San Francisco.

When I purchased the pumps...

they asked if I wanted them wrapped...

or if I wanted to wear them.

AII right, cIosing.

Ah ah bop bop ba dop

Oh oh bop bop ba dop

Going up.

Oh little bitty pretty one

Come on and talk to me

Aah!

Let me grab you lovely one

You aII right?

Yeah--oh--I'm fine.

-Going down. -Whoo!

Oh oh bop bop ba dop

Oh oh bop bop ba dop

Oh oh bop bop ba dop

I've never put on pantyhose, but it sounds dangerous.

MlA; Grandma? ls it customary in Genovia,,,

to imprison your dinner guests With Hermeez scarves?

CLARlSSE; lt's Hermes,

The scarf is mereIy a training tooI.

EventuaIIy you wiII Iearn to sit...

and eat properly Without it,

Manners matter.

But enough etiquette for the day,

NoW, Genovia does a lot of trade With Spain,,,

so We prepare for that,

The quickest way to a Spanish heart is dance.

ShaII we?

Now teII me, what kind of dancing do you do?

Dancing? Just the normaI kind.

You know, Iike...

Bom chicka bom bom

Bom tss um bom

JOE: I see.

JOE; We have a Genovian alternative,

[Dance music pIaying]

Now, the dances here are very sedate...

right from the hips. In pIace.

No bobbing of the head, pIease.

It's not a doggy on a dashboard.

JOE; Straight up,

Let's practice this here,

Now, this dance is...

between a waItz and a tango, you see?

MIA: It's a wango?

JOE; No,

AII right, here we go. Spin out...

and spin into me. Spin into--Uhh!

-[Gasps] -OK.

I--No, no, no, no.

JOE; Try again, One more spin,

Very quickIy, now puII away.

That's it. Good.

Good attitude. Spin in.

-Good. -I did it?

Grandma, I spun without hurting anyone!

That's very good news.

Spin, spin, spin. Yes, done.

Better. It's coming aIong.

Now you may go home.

Thank you! See you tomorrow!

Thank you, Joseph.

[Dance music pIaying]

You've been wearing bIack too Iong.

P,A,; This is Coach Harbula,

You can sign up noW for the Baker Beach Party,

MIA: Oh! Sorry. Sorry.

JOSH: Hey, Bobby Bad!

Sorry.

LlLLY; Mia! Are you ready?

Oh, hey. I'm reaIIy sorry...

but I can't do it today. I've got a Grandma thing.

I'II caII you. Bye.

What? Has your grandma turned into the big bad woIf?

JEREMlAH; Shazam,

Cute, Jeremiah, but a way to a girI's heart...

is not by treating her Iike a vending machine.

SPEAKER; Get off the grass!

[Message repeats in severaI Ianguages]

Hi, AdoIpho! I'm Iate!

She's Iate.

-You're Iate. -I know.

I'm reaIIy sorry about it--

-And where is PaoIo? -Send in PaoIo.

CLARlSSE; Ah! AlWays prompt,

[ltalian accent] Regina Mia, Buon giorno,

My assistant, Gretchen and HeIga.

CLARlSSE; Good afternoon,

We're so pIeased you couId make yourseIf avaiIabIe.

Your Majesty.

We won't waste time. Let the work begin.

PAOLO: Ah. Of course.

Where is the beautifuI girI?

My granddaughter AmeIia.

Aah!

She is gorgeous. Let us take a cIoser Iook.

PaoIo, we have a Iimited number of days...

before the state dinner.

Frizzy, busy, dizzy.

In the best sense.

Oh, I wouId Iike it if your Iadies...

wouId aIso sign our confidentiaIity agreement.

Majesty, they know what is a secret, eh?

[Speaking foreign Ianguage]

CHARLO TTE; Excuse me, Your Majesty,

The Genovian press secretary's waiting for your caII.

Oh, yes, of course.

WeII, I'm afraid I'm going to have to Ieave...

and come back and be surprised.

[CIaps hands]

CharIotte, watch him Iike a hawk.

PAOLO; Buerste, Helga!

Danke,

So we begin, Principessa, eh?

In PaoIo's hands, remember...

you wiII be beautifuI.

You have thick hair,

Heh heh heh.

Like a woIf.

Ow!

Is aII right. Heh heh heh.

Do you wear contact Ienses?

WeII, I have them...

but I don't reaIIy Iike to wear them that much.

Now you do.

You broke my gIasses!

You broke my brush.

PAOLO; Gretchen! Helga! Attack!

PAOLO; l love your eyebroWs,

We'll call them ''Frida'' and ''Kahlo, ''

lf Brooke Shields married Groucho Marx,,,

that child Would have your eyebroWs,

Do you want to know a big secret?

-TeII me. -The cucumber does nothing.

Heh heh heh. This is something we make up.

Majesty, PaoIo is exhausted...

because, Majesty, onIy PaoIo can take this...

and this... and give you...

BOTH: A princess.

Better. Much better.

Mille grazie,

Why don't we go and have a wonderfuI cup of tea?

Si,

CLARlSSE; Come, Mia,

[PIaying harmonica]

LiIIy, the car's here!

LlLLY; l'm coming!

[PIays]

Thanks for the ride. Thank you.

Hey.

What?

MichaeI, don't aIways think you can get a ride with us.

Oy.

LlLLY; Who destroyed you?

Oh. You think it Iooks that bad?

You Iook ridicuIous. You shouId sue.

WeII, um... [Laughs]

I know it's a IittIe straighter and shorter--

Weirder!

An attractive weirder.

LlLLY; No, lt's not attractive,

Seat beIts, pIease.

LlLLY; What l really can't understand,,,

you ditched me again yesterday,,,

When l needed your help on the Greenpeace petition,

This bag! You have one of these bags?

You know we couId hock that...

and feed a whoIe Third WorId country?

Am I right?

No.

If there are no more passengers...

I think we shouId cIose the door.

LlLLY; You used to care more about,,,

What Was inside your head instead of on it,

Come on, Mia, Fess up,

l don't knoW Where you are these days,,,

and noW you're turning into an A-croWd Wannabe?

You're morphing into one of them!

And Who knoWs, next Week,,,

you could be Waving pom-poms in my face,

You sold out!

Was my rear-view mirror fogging up...

or was someone tearing back there?

I'm fine.

Very weII. Then I'II go meet your grandmother.

But you shouId know that...

no one can make you feeI inferior without your consent.

EIeanor RooseveIt said that.

Yes. Another speciaI Iady Iike yourseIf.

I'II be back at 3:00.

Thank you.

She has a hat.

Do you reaIIy think wearing that hat...

wiII keep peopIe from seeing your new Lana-do?

Just because the student popuIation...

might be moraIIy bankrupt doesn't mean they're bIind.

LiIIy! Just stop it, OK?

Just because your hair sucks, get off mine!

MICHAEL: Ouch. Thank you.

MichaeI, can you pIease pretend you have a Iife...

for just one moment?

Hey, reIax. Breathe.

Hee. Hoo. Hee.

[PIaying harmonica]

What did you just say to me?

You heard me.

I am so sick...

of you ragging on me aII the time...

and aIways teIIing me what to do.

I get enough of that from my mother...

and now my grandmother, and I don't need it from you!

I'm not an idiot...

so I know something's going on you're not teIIing me!

Friends teII, so you know what?

Here is your friendship charm.

I'm taking it off and it's going in the dirt!

Don't do that, OK? Just--Ugh!

AII right, just wait.

Why?

I wiII teII you the truth...

but you're gonna think it's reaIIy stupid...

and you're gonna freak.

Try me.

[Buzzing]

[Gasps] Shut up!

Shut up! Shut up!

Is that aII you can say?

I'm sorry I was harsh...

and I don't know what eIse there is to say.

WiII you come on my cabIe show?

No, I can't. This is a royaI secret.

You can't teII anyone. Not even MichaeI.

EspeciaIIy not MichaeI. You are sworn to secrecy.

-Of course. -Secret handshake.

[Spitting]

MlA; We might have to think of a neW secret handshake,

LILLY: Are you reaIIy sure you can run a country?

You can bareIy keep your goIdfish aIive...

for more than a coupIe of days.

LiIIy, I'm reaIIy sure of anything right now.

Listen, there are pros and cons to being a princess.

Shh! Don't say that word. PeopIe can hear.

CIass has begun!

CIass has begun and I have a IittIe surprise for you.

Pop quiz. French RevoIution.

Mr. O'ConneII, there's a schooI ruIe...

that says nobody's aIIowed to wear hats in cIass.

And l don't think anybody should be,,,

an exception to that rule, do you?

O'CONNELL; No, Lana,

Mia, I'm sorry, but hats are against the dress code.

Mia?

[CIass reacts]

Mamma Mia,

LANA: Look who's trying to fit in now.

ANNA: It's a wig, right?

MELISSA: I think it Iooks reaIIy sweet, Mia.

ANNA; Looks like she got a head transplant,

WeII, I think it rocks. And you know what?

VoItaire. Hair.

I wouId personaIIy Iike to Iearn about VoItaire.

OK, LiIIy, OK.

Everybody settIe down now.

Quiz time, OK?

CLARlSSE; Lovely, But noW We need fountains,,,

Iights in the trees.

The Japanese Embassy has a waterfaII.

Why can't we have fountains?

We have a fountain up there, ma'am.

WeII, I wouId Iike at Ieast two in here.

CharIotte, just make me an Eden.

Yes, ma'am.

-AmeIia? Let's continue. -Hmm?

CLARlSSE; ln your spare time, l Would like you to read these,

''What's in a name?

''That which we caII a rose by any other word...

''wouId smeII as sweet.''

And so you wave to them...

and acknowIedge them gracefuIIy.

HeIIo.

No. Not quite so big, because, of course...

it's very, very exhausting after a whiIe.

Very funny, dear. Try it properIy.

Waving-- even more gentIy--

You say, ''Thank you for being here today.''

-Thank you. -For being here.

JOE: I'm sorry, ma'am.

I must pick up the prime minister.

Excuse me.

BOTH: WeII, thank you for being here today.

MlA; So this is considered art?

HELEN; My parents did this in the Sixties,

Yes! They had an exhibition at Woodstock,

And I guess you're trying to bring it back?

HELEN; Well, this beats homeWork,

Yeah. Some moms heIp their kids with homework...

We do this,

Oh, nice shot!

Oh, yes, I Iike it.

BuII's-eye!

[Laughing]

-Yeah! -I did it!

l love life, life loves me

Everything in the World

This is more fun than princess Iessons.

[Dripping]

MICHAEL: What are you doing this Saturday night?

Are you guys pIaying?

We're rehearsing some new things.

We got two new songs.

Oh, yeah?

PIus, surprise, we got the new parts for your 'Stang.

Oh, yay.

We couId put it together together.

OK. Is this Iike a date?

-No. -[GiggIes]

Music, cars.

-WouId it incIude pizza? -Pizza's a given.

MlA; With M&Ms?

Wait up! Wait for me!

Not you! I don't even know you!

-WeII, then, I am in. -Great!

LlLLY; Hi! Whoo-hoo!

Saturday, it's on?

Yeah. Great. Hey, LiI.

-Hi. -What's up?

-What's happening? -I don't know.

[Loud chatter]

MlA; What's going on?

-Maybe it's a protest. -Maybe.

Excuse me. Hi. Who are you waiting for?

LANA; There she is right there! Mia Thermopolis!

We're waiting for you.

Right here, Princess! TaIk to me!

MlA; Lilly, did you tell?

I didn't say anything!

Princess Mia! Who's your favorite actor?

Why are they caIIing her ''Princess''?

WOMAN; Princess Mia, What do you do about pimples?

Come on. Let's just go, pIease!

MAN; Can We quote you, Your Majesty?

Come on, Mia. Let's get inside.

LANA: Oh, Mia! Ohh!

Wait! Wait! Wait!

Excuse me, mister? Hi!

The phone's ringing off the hook.

What?!

Oh!

O'CONNELL; Mia, your mother's on her Way,

[TeIephone rings]

Gupta. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

The queen is coming to Grove High SchooI.

SUKl; A limo With flags!

MALE REPORTER; A Genovian limousine has arrived,

The queen is getting out,

SUKI: Your Majesty, why aII the secrets?

AII we keep hearing is ''No comment.''

Do you have a comment?

Your Majesty--

WiII you be visiting the White House?

Are you taking the princess home?

MlA; Mom, l don't knoW Who told on me,

 by

[New music begins]